i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
