"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
