filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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