Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
