Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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