o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
