whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
