I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
