meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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