Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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