Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
