I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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