what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
