im about as happy as oj after his trial
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize