Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
