Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
