seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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