Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize