Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
