i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
