We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
