Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
