Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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