I am puke
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
