my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize