What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
