I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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