Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
