We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
