scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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