It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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