You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
