nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
