Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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