im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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