So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
where does the pee come out of this thing
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize