his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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