We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
