There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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