4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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