I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
