M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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