I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
