Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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