I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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