well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
and you fell through a lawn chair
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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