After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
