dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
