She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
