I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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