I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
