your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
