Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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