Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i don't like sucking hair
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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