There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
