I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
