please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
