I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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